by jeri2102
About myself, I was raise on the south side of Chicago, Bridgeport to be exact. I attended a Catholic grade school, an all girl Catholic High School, and a local Catholic University.
No guilt here,, right…..
They say, confession is good for the soul…. And I hope this blog will be some kind of emotional release for me…. I want to present the facts to you as truthful and accurate as I can recall.
When I was 6 or 7 my Italian mother caught me rubbing myself between my legs and she scolded me, “Good girls don’t do that…”,,, But that didn’t stop me from humping a pillow at night…. Despite what my mother said,, it did feel good….. The beginnings of my guilt trips.. My growing up, I always heard, “Good girls don’t do that”,,,, So naturally what are the results of all this suppressed behavior….. suppressed sexually.
Believe it or not I was a virgin want I married…. My husband was my first…. And until I was 34 my only lover. The thought of having sex with another man was out of the question. I had a wonderful, loving family and everything seems to be going so well.
I met my husband while attending college. He gave a lecture on leadership. He was intelligent, handsome and quite charming. After the lecture, I lingered around and asked him a few inane questions, which I can’t recall now. But I do know they were meaningless. He asked me to dinner that night and we were married 3 months later…..
He was 35 and I was 20. Within a year I was pregnant with my first ..., a boy. A year later by second ... was born. My husband wanted more children but I just couldn’t get pregnant. I thought that our sex life was good and I had no complaints. After several years of trying, I finally became pregnant but had a miscarriage 4 months later. It was a difficult pregnancy and I had to have a tubal ligation. I could not have any more children. My husband was very disappointed and I believe he blamed me for the miscarriage. Things were never the same between us….
Over the next few years I struggled with periods of depression and guilt over losing the baby. My idyllic life wasn’t so great anymore. Our sex life was almost non existent and as time went by, I began to fantasize more and more….. It was during this period of my life that I began to masturbate frequently. My fantasies were mostly of me having sex with single men and me being submissive to their demands…..
The next post will be my trip to Rhode Island and my first sexual experience outside my marriage….. Kisses all…
No guilt here,, right…..
They say, confession is good for the soul…. And I hope this blog will be some kind of emotional release for me…. I want to present the facts to you as truthful and accurate as I can recall.
When I was 6 or 7 my Italian mother caught me rubbing myself between my legs and she scolded me, “Good girls don’t do that…”,,, But that didn’t stop me from humping a pillow at night…. Despite what my mother said,, it did feel good….. The beginnings of my guilt trips.. My growing up, I always heard, “Good girls don’t do that”,,,, So naturally what are the results of all this suppressed behavior….. suppressed sexually.
Believe it or not I was a virgin want I married…. My husband was my first…. And until I was 34 my only lover. The thought of having sex with another man was out of the question. I had a wonderful, loving family and everything seems to be going so well.
I met my husband while attending college. He gave a lecture on leadership. He was intelligent, handsome and quite charming. After the lecture, I lingered around and asked him a few inane questions, which I can’t recall now. But I do know they were meaningless. He asked me to dinner that night and we were married 3 months later…..
He was 35 and I was 20. Within a year I was pregnant with my first ..., a boy. A year later by second ... was born. My husband wanted more children but I just couldn’t get pregnant. I thought that our sex life was good and I had no complaints. After several years of trying, I finally became pregnant but had a miscarriage 4 months later. It was a difficult pregnancy and I had to have a tubal ligation. I could not have any more children. My husband was very disappointed and I believe he blamed me for the miscarriage. Things were never the same between us….
Over the next few years I struggled with periods of depression and guilt over losing the baby. My idyllic life wasn’t so great anymore. Our sex life was almost non existent and as time went by, I began to fantasize more and more….. It was during this period of my life that I began to masturbate frequently. My fantasies were mostly of me having sex with single men and me being submissive to their demands…..
The next post will be my trip to Rhode Island and my first sexual experience outside my marriage….. Kisses all…
looking forward to hear more