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Everything I learned about sexuality & relationships I learned from early shows like the Addams Family...and I’m betting that many of you got more from it than you’ve given thought/credit to, too. The Addams Family had one the more memorable theme songs - just try singing out those first 4 duh-duh-duh-duh notes in a room without having somebody snapping their fingers or clapping in the next two notes.
Perhaps, it was because I grew up in the 60’s across from racially charged Detroit and amidst the turbulence that was the “Free Love” generation…or maybe it was simply that the Addam’s Family were the first couple on American TV implied to have a sex life.
While the Addams’ were a self-contained unit that just did not fit into what society considers “normal.” They knew they were different, and reveled in that fact while still maintaining their essential dignity, even when interacting with the “outside world.” Essentially, their own values determined who they were. They’re never disturbed about not being accepted by regular society. Heck, I believe they were also the first homeschool family on TV, too. Oh, & did you know that Thing (the most dismembered childhood cohort of Gomez) was played by Steven Fox, a CANADIAN? <toots her Pride horn again…lol> But back to the blog subject at hand, here…
What I mean to ask is, in reality, which amongst us doesn’t have our own unique attributes/kinks/eccentricities, which may appear to be normal by our own family/community members, but considered bizarre or abnormal by the vanilla “others”? The show’s message that seems vital to me is the sharing of a very deep understanding of one another.
Sexuality and our own life’s passions are rarely examined seriously in life. All of our childhoods were riddled with conditioning, most of which is meant to mould us all into happy, healthy, functioning adults. I merely took a lot of my cues from shows like the Addams Family, who exhibited clearly to my young, impressionable mind, many of those things that are not regularly deemed as domestically acceptable traits. But then I’ve always appreciated the stance anyone takes, that challenges mainstream notions of sexuality. Perhaps, I’ve always had a proclivity to examine the darker things in life…to look further into the shadows & make sense of what belies clarity & insight not to mention further exploration…rather than seeing things that the general populace focused on as acceptable merely in because they were succinctly black or white.
From this, I learned that by blurring the lines when it came to ethnicity, gender, and sexuality, the Addams Family cohered by a shared sense of being social anomalies & really not giving a rat’s ass what anyone cared, in the least, for their way of life…raising our consciousness and helping to break through the barriers of small mindedness, alternative sexuality and just being different.
In looking in on Gomez, Morticia and others from the show, it’s evident that most in that family network could enjoy basking in their wanton eccentricities with charm, continental manners & a very refreshing aloof sense of sensuality & passion for each other’s enjoyable pastimes. We saw that they certainly weren’t really being torn or tortured about being different in the least. They usually held little regard to how other people led their lives, outside their own nucleus. They all had a bond that remained strong and unassailable over the long term due to the fact that they harmoniously blended together all the while accepting each other’s traits, for they were, after all, of likemind.
I learned that while most men have an amusing adolescent appetite for destruction & scheming, they were merely simple men who were readily consentual entertainment for women who knew the power of their own sexuality, had a sense of self and knew how to use it all. Morticia & other confident women on the show taught me to revel in my own darkness & solemnity as well as my kinky tastes/desires. As consummate switches, Gomez & Morticia freely exhibited the subversive joy of seeing S/M play treated as merely one more way in which a couple can love one another. The pleasure they got from torturing each other was truly infectious…as was their loyalty to each other being unquestioningly paramount. They proved that loyalty, however/wherever it exists, will always endure and survive in our everyday world.
My favorite line from the show was Morticia’s: “Last night you were…….unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again !! “
And who wouldn’t want to do whatever one desired again in that old Second Empire Victorian house? Their mansion had all one could want & more…only limited to the scope of creative imagination.
-3 stories PLUS dungeon
-Included many very unique guest rooms, for friends/family
-Nice high ceilings to practice bullwhip throwing not to mention a huge ballroom for throwing wickedly flamboyant partays
-Elevator access to all floors (not to mention various assorted other means of “access”
-and that dungeon playroom!! Where we all became privy to a number of bizarre items including ancient instruments of torture (an iron maiden, a rack, an electric chair, a guillotine, a bed-of-nails chaise lounge, a flogging table, and stocks inscribed "Hers," to rest your head & arms in)
So we see, while torturing someone we love is fun, that each of us can both still live to love and respect one another, yet another day...so enjoy yourselves who you really are inside…and frolic in your uniqueness !! Seems perfectly natural to me.