It’s another amazing, erotic, educational Porn ‘n’ Purim Bacchanal in the Womb Room as the Commedia Erotica cast of porn stars, comedians, transwomen and Hollywood socialites reenact the sexiest story in the Bible (or the second sexiest, if you prefer “Song Of Songs&rdquo
: the Book of Esther, aka Megillat Esther, which tells the tale of the ancient Persian Jewish beauty contest winner who saves her people from genocide by using her Weapons of Mass Seduction. The storyline might be familiar, especially if you got Bar Mitzvah’ed, but believe me, this is not your Bubbe’s Purim. Keep in mind that, in true Commedia Dell’Arte tradition, this reenactment is totally improvised—no rehearsal, no script, no net but the Internet—with parts, costumes and sex acts determined just moments before our live-on-the-air performance! Fortunately for those players and viewers who don’t know a hamantaschen from a hard-on, you also get a little guided narration from your Irreverend Rebbetzen here who, once upon a time, was a Sunday school teacher. In a way, I still teach Sunday school, except now I do it on Saturday nights and half my class is naked. This Saturday turns out to be quite a lesson in human behavior—both during and after the Purimschpiel (Purim play).
I’ll get to “after” later; first let’s talk about the show—which happens to be one of our finest Purimschpiels ever (see Purim 2008 and 2011 for oldies but goodies)—exciting, provocative, ridiculous and erotic. Of course, with a cast of some of the world’s hottest porn stars, even reading Facebook’s Rules and Regulations would be erotic. But much of our Purimschpiel’s eroticism lies in the original story. This makes it stand out against most of the Hebrew Bible, aka the Old Testament, which is only “pro-sex” when it comes to procreation. Just about every other kind of sexual relation is presented as “unclean” or an “abomination,” often punishable by death or even fire and brimstone for the entire community. But the Purim story is a very sex-positive one: a feminist tale in a patriarchal time, beginning with the feast of a king and the disobedience of a queen and ending with the obedience of a king and the feast of a queen.
I won’t go into all the details (though if you’re a Purimschpiel fetishist, you can read my full erotic exotic interpretation of the Story of Esther here)….This ain’t Sunday School, though you may call it Sex Education Bible style…Sunday School Purimschpiels don’t feature golden dildo scepters! Basically, there’s this Persian King named Ahasuerus (sometimes said to be a version of the ancient Persian King Xerxes), who ruled over 127 provinces from India to Ethiopia, and, once upon a time, he throws a six-month drinking, eating, gambling, and sex festival (and you thought Charlie Sheen was decadent). During the climactic week-long feast, King Ahasuerus, “merry with wine,” orders his wife, Queen Vashti, to display her beauty to him, his court, and his people, in an ancient version of striptease (i.e., naked). In a pre-feminist act of feminism or just an ancient outburst of bitchiness, Vashti refuses to strip down for her royal hubby and his drinking buddies. For this, she is banished or beheaded (depending on the translation), though our Bonobo Purimschpiel just flogs her royal naked body on the cross. In an ancient Persian version of “Who Wants to Marry a King?”, the king calls for a new queen, to be chosen from all the kingdom’s virgins (you can imagine the comic erotic possibilities of casting porn stars as virgins—thank you Ideal Image Management!). The king chooses Esther, a Jewish girl entered into the contest (aka pimped) by her cousin, the hero of the story whom I lovingly call “Pimpin’ Cousin Mordecai.”
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