As Masturbation Month moves merrily along, we continue celebrating and exploring the power and glory of self-pleasure and other erotic hedonic joys. This show takes you on a multi-orgasmic roller coaster ride of Masturbation Liberation, Education, Domination, Deprivation, Humiliation, Stimulation, Vibration and Revelation. With all these relevant rhymes and more (titillation, sensation&hellip
, somebody could write a hit self-love song…
But why Masturbation Month? Yes, yes, of course, every month is Masturbation Month for most of us; in fact, every day is Masturbation Day, sometimes several times a day. But just as we commemorate Women’s History in March, Gay Pride in June and Black History in February, we honor the fine art, science and pleasure of solo sex in the merry month of May. But still, why award masturbation its very own month? After all, we don’t have an Oral Sex Month, a Spanking Month, a High Heel Month or a Big Hat Month (though maybe we should). We designate a month for masturbation because some kind of self-love is important for all of us. Yes indeed, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners: the human race is just a bunch of wankers and monkey-spankers! Masturbation is universal. People of all ages do it in every culture, everywhere, even when their religion declares it punishable by death, blindness, impotency, hair on the palms, devastating shame or an eternity in hell.
Why? First and foremost, because self-pleasure feels good! But there’s more. The message of masturbation is simple but revolutionary, even insurgent. This is why Dr. Joycelyn Elders got fired for giving the healthiest sex advice in the world (and President Billy Jeff Clinton should have just shut up and taken her advice instead of getting himself a Lewinsky in the Oval Orifice), and that is that we need masturbation education. We need to learn about our own bodies and erotic minds thru sex-for-one before we share orgasms-for-two or three or a Bonoboville orgy. Because Masturbation is Basic Sex 101. Moreover, masturbation is Basic YOU 101.
The message of masturbation is that if you can help yourself to the greatest sexual pleasure, you really don’t need to kowtow to the demands of an unreasonable asshole husband, a withholding bitchy wife, a crazy sex-negative religion or a repressive fascist government. Only then can you truly love your spouse, your god or your group out of shared joy, not needy desperation and befuddled fear.
The message of masturbation is that you have nothing to fear (excepting the occasional stupid accident like getting a light bulb stuck in your rectum—ouch!). Your pleasure, your stress-release and your freedom are literally at your fingertips. The message of masturbation is liberation. No wonder it’s still so taboo.
Yes, it can imprison some of us in a cycle of compulsive, antisocial, porn-ogling hog-flogging. But usually compulsive masturbation is a symptom of a deeper issue that ought to be addressed, not the cause of the problem. And for the great majority of us, most of the time, self-pleasure is a marvelous, convenient and harmless relief from the pain and pressure of life, a sex educational exploration of our most personal feelings, fantasies and sensations, a little bit of Heaven we can bring down to Earth with nothing more nor less than the wondrous power of our own hands…
And maybe a Sybian.
Enjoy this fantastic, orgasmic, masturbation-liberation show!
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