Mistress D (aka sexybutshy) gave me a birthday card that read the following:
Funny things you are likely to hear when you drop your pants
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that !
2. But it still works right ?
3. Why dont we just cuddle.
4. Ahhh, it's cute
5. (giggle and point)
6. You know they have a surgery to fix that.
7. Can you make it dance ?
8. It's OK we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it ?
10. Didn't your mother tell you not to run with scissors?
11. Oh No ! a flash headache !
12. Can I be honest with you ?
13. But your feet are so big ?
14. How sweet, you brought incense.
15. This explains your car.
16. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
17. Why is God punishing me ?
18. Why is God punishing you ?
19. At least this wont take long.
20. I never saw one like that before.
21. Can I paint a smiley face on it ?
22. It looks so unused.
23. Lets skip right to the cigarettes.
24. If you get me really ... first.
25. What is that ?
26. Does it come with an air pump ?
27. Are you in therapy about this issue ?
28. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
29. Are you cold ?
30. Is that a wart or hemorrhoid ?
31. I'm so glad your good with your tongue.
32. Maybe it's an optical illusion.
33. I must be the early bird !
34. So this is why your supposed to judge people on their personality
35. Should I blow it or floss my teeth with it ?
