What an amazing, bonoboësque, masturbating-and-fornicating fiesta of a live show! What a way to kick off (not to mention jack ‘n’ jill-off) the Merry Masturbation Month of May, with a tip of my ... sombrero to Cinco de Mayo. Commemorating the Battle of Puebla on the 5th of May in 1862 when a relatively small, poorly armed militia of 4500 led by Ignacio Zaragoza Seguin defeated the well-equipped French army of 6500 soldiers which had come to install Napoleon III’s cousin, the Archduke Maximilian of Austria (no relation to my Prince Maximillian of Prague), as ruler. The Mexican victory was short-lived, but it was an underdog’s triumph against overwhelming odds, a glorious, memorable moment of revolutionary euphoria.
The message of masturbation is also revolutionary, on a very personal level. That is, if you can help yourself to the greatest sexual pleasure, you really don’t need to submit to the demands of an unreasonable husband, wife, religion, government or snooty archduke. No wonder masturbation is still so taboo! Back in the 1990s, U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders lost her job for having the temerity to suggest that masturbation could be included as a form of safe sex in a school sex educational program. If only then-President Bill Clinton had taken Dr. J’s sound advice instead of sharing his DNA with Monica’s blue dress, he might not have been impeached. Instead, he caved to Republican pressure and fired Dr. Elders. To combat such Presidential ignorance and other solo sex taboos with education and celebration, my mentor Dr. Betty Dodson and our friends up at Good Vibrations invented the M Month. ¡Mes de Masturbación Feliz!
Here is Bonoboville, we call the early May convergence of Cinco de Mayo and the start of Masturbation Month, “Masturbation de Mayo,” and who better to share it with than sinfully sweet Selma Sins, Ideal Image Models’ adult starlet and one of our favorite return guests on DrSuzy.Tv. Having grown up in a traditional Mexican-American family, Selma has celebrated many Cinco de Mayos, but none with quite so much salsa caliente as this one.
Which brings me to my other featured guest: Tyler Knight is a DrSuzy.Tv virgin, but he’s a quick study, though not a quick comer. His gallant demeanor is quite knightly indeed. Playgirl spokesmodel, AVN-award-winning porn star and “dirty realism” writer (with a novel on the way!), with his own trademark blow-up doll, which has traveled the world, even making an appearance on The Colbert Report. But we’re most impressed by how Tyler himself made it to Bonoboville: He literally ran all the way to West LA from Silverlake! Talk about stamina; the noble Mr. Knight is the king. Or more accurately, he is the President, a.k.a. the “Porn Obama,” having played the part of the U.S. Commander-in-Chief in a couple of adult films, including the Hustler parody White House Orgy, featuring the music video “America on the Run,” with Tyler playing a gold-chained, rapping Prez flanked by bikini-suited aids Selma and Bonnie Rotten. He also plays Barry in a scene with Lisa Ann as Sarah Palin, and says the “most popular porn star in the world” (whom I interviewed for Playboy TV back when she was just a White House intern) is very “generous” on set. Though he’s more buff than Barack (also a running enthusiast), Tyler’s got that presidential air about him, even naked—or maybe especially naked—which we uncover through the sacred ritual of Bonoboville Communion.
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