New at this Cuckolding

Hi I am new at cuckolding and have done tons of research. It seems no matter how much investigating I have done I still get these feeling of not being a good husband or man for my wife, even though she says I am perfect. I understand her but even when she is getting it by her boyfriend and I get totally turned on afterwards I still feel like I'm not being the man I need to be for her. I'm very frustrated with myself because I want this but my mind is telling me no. Any real mature sugestions/advice please.